Bad Divorce Behavior -Holistic Divorce CA
Co-Parenting, Divorce

Bad Divorce Behavior

Getting a divorce is no picnic, by any means. Having someone be a part of your life for so long and then having them get taken away is almost too much to handle. It’s kind of inexplicable if you really think about it right? You meet this stranger out of nowhere, fall in love, get married, have children, build a home, and then boom it’s over. Now you’re at the point where you can’t stand to be in the same room as each other, you struggle not to fight in front of the children, you can’t even remember why you married this person in the first place. You want to be as far away from this person as you can. We get it.

You’re hurt, you’re sad, you’re angry, possibly even scared. Although having these feelings and emotions is completely normal they can cause you to behave out of your character at times. In some divorces, this can be a one-time out lash.  In others, it can be a perpetual act that goes on for years and years following the divorce. Some may say this is bitterness.

I know you are thinking to yourself what is bad divorce behavior? Bad divorce behavior is something that is done with the negative intention of hurting their spouse. In general being angry and mean spirited can have its negative effects on the body. So, if you are intentionally trying to hurt your spouse you essentially may just be hurting yourself instead. Doing this will hinder your ability to find peace, accept the situation, and move on – which is what you want right? We know it’s not easy and you may feel compelled at times to lash out at your spouse. It’s not worth your peace.

Bad divorce behavior amongst spouses can also have a negative impact on your children – the real victims of the situation. Once you had children with your spouse your problems stop being about you and start being about them. They are losing the most significant thing in their lives, having their parents together.

Here are some examples of bad divorce behavior:

Not paying child support to aggravate your spouse

If you hold a child support check, who are you really hurting? Not your spouse who’s taking care of your children. You’re hurting them. You might think it’s unfair to have to pay your spouse to take care of your children when you can do it, so you intentionally delay and delay and your child is the one left suffering. This is bad divorce behavior. Good divorce behavior would be coming to an agreement with your spouse about the terms of your child support. If you truly can’t afford it, talk to them. Co-parenting tip 101: You’re stuck together, might as well make the best of it.

Badmouthing your spouse in front of the children          

This is a huge no-no for those of you with children. Although we’ve all felt at times that we want to just ring out our spouse’s neck because they aren’t living up to our standards as a human. Remember, they are only human and they are your child’s other parent. You wouldn’t have that wonderful pride of joy you love so much without that person. When you badmouth your spouse in front of or to your child it often makes them feel as if they must pick between parents. Something they should never have to do.

Flaunting your new significant other

Trying to make your spouse jealous with your new significant other is one of the most pretentious moves you can make. It’s also one of the cruelest. Flaunting your new relationship can cause a variety of arguments to arise during and after a divorce. Have some respect for your spouse even if you think you’ve lost it. Avoid doing this to avoid causing problems for yourself. As unfathomable as it is, you were once in love with this person. Maybe the way they handle the situation wasn’t the way you would have wanted them to. Or maybe things just didn’t turn out the way you planned in life. That’s the circle of life.

Remember these two things: you need to accept the situation for what it is and move forward with your life and learn to let things go that are out of your control. If you have truly moved forward in life, this immoral behavior won’t be a problem for you.

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