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Recovering from a divorce is a grieving process with stages and steps that need to be acknowledged. It is important you allow yourself time to fully grieve the loss of the relationship, the companionship, the support, and any future plans you had together. This process is not meant to be accomplished alone – friends, family, support groups or a professional divorce counselor are important in the divorce recovery process. A divorce counselor can:
- Help you understand all the stages of loss and grief
- Teach you the necessary coping skills to deal with the emotional pain of divorce
- Provide a forum for the entire family to receive counseling and support
- Relationship coaching to help you understand the reason the relationship failed and prevent future relationship problems
Understanding that counseling and therapy is completely natural for even the most healthy couples is the first step in accepting the idea of going to a divorce counselor. You, like many others may be thinking “I don’t need a therapist, I don’t need someone to tell me what I already know.” Divorce counselors and therapist are not here to dictate your life and tell you how to live it. They simple act as a shoulder to cry on while supplying you with the necessary tools that can help you cope with your situation. They may even become your close friend. It’s natural and every one going through a divorce can use it as a resource.
Going to a counselor no matter the reason, the break-up of a long-term, committed relationship can disrupt your world as well as trigger some profound emotions of sadness, stress and grief. Life after divorce can feel overwhelming, and for many the uncertainty about the future can sometimes seem worse than the unhappy relationship itself. This is where counseling comes into play – to help you overcome the overwhelming uncertainty of your new life.
After you’ve let yourself feel all your emotions the pain should subside a little and emotionally you will start to move on. However, if you don’t feel any progress working with a counselor, you could be suffering from a more serious mental disorder such as depression and may need help from a psychologist.
If this is you, if you don’t feel like you’re making any progress with a counselor don’t feel ashamed. It could be that you’re not giving it enough time. Although we would love for things to change instantly that is not how we as humans are wired. And you are only human, so give it some time. After you have given It some time and you still feel like it isn’t working then maybe it’s time to see a psychologist. This like counseling, isn’t anything to be ashamed about. Always remember, you’re not alone.