Divorce Diaries: The Couples Speak Out

By |2017-10-03T13:41:59+00:00September 14th, 2017|Divorce, Wellness|0 Comments

When it comes to divorce the number one question is why do couples split up? Followed by why do they wait so long to split up? But the question you’re probably wondering is can you prevent this from happening to your marriage? it’s possible! I have talked to five couple about their experience during and after the divorce to get their take on it.

Growing apart

One of the most common reasons couples split up after being married for decades is simply because of the fact that they grew apart. It wasn’t something some did or didn’t do, they just want to go in different directions at this point in their life. As we get older, most of us take the time to reminisce on their life choices and start to wonder “what it.” What if I would have started that business, what if I would have made a different choice back in 1989, what if my child doesn’t turn out the way I raised them because of the choices I made, or what if my unhappy marriage affects my children? All those thoughts start to stir up in your mind and you realize it may be time to separate from your significant other.  It’s important that if you start to feel this way or even a little confused about it, you talk to your partner immediately. Maybe it’s something you can work on together.

“I was the one growing apart from my husband during our marriage. He was content and I just wasn’t. We only have one child together, and he is and adult now. We were able to stay friends as well as spend Holiday’s together with both of our families. I would say that communication in any relationship is the number one thing, even if you do want to divorce. It doesn’t have to be the end of the world. ” — Lorie

Boredom

Often when we make the commitment to stay with the same person for the rest of our lives, we forget that being around the same person 24/7 can not only be irritating at times but boring for some. Couples who are often bored are at higher risk for having an unfaithful partner. Boredom is one of the leading causes of divorce.  Statistics show that men are more prone to getting bored during a marriage than women.

“After 30 years of marriage I just wasn’t feeling the spark anymore. We weren’t very intimate anymore and that can get really boring.” – Nathan

Mid-life Crisis

Part of what drives a midlife crisis is dissatisfaction and a desire for things to be different. One of the easiest things to change is the relationship. This happens often when people settle for less than they desire in life, or less than their worth. It’s typical for any one in a 20 year marriage to experience a mid-life crisis if they feel like they could have done better choosing a partner. It’s important that you make sure you are one hundred percent dedicated to that person before saying I do.

“My ex-Husband experienced a mid-life crisis right after our 25th anniversary. We have three boys together, we had a nice house, great jobs, and good friends. What more could we have asked for? I was devastated to say the least, but he just wasn’t happy with me and that’s something I couldn’t control.” – Jennifer

Money

If you and your spouse are not one hundred percent aligned in your financial situation this can lead to some major problems down the road. The old saying “yours, mine, and ours,” doesn’t really work unless you fully understand the consequences of your actions as well as your partners. Surveys shows 57% of marriages end on behalf of money issues.

“I wasn’t in charge of our finances, my husband at the time was. I was a stay at home wife and mother. Erik wanted me to get a full time job and I wanted to stay home with our children. I tried to make money from the house but it wasn’t enough to help pay the bills. One day he came home from work and said he couldn’t do it anymore.” – Holly

Sex

Sexual compatibility and hormonal changes that occur with age can cause significant shifts in your sexual drive. If you’re not communicating this with your partner you will begin to see a shift in your love life. Over the years it can get difficult to fit intimacy into your life. When you add children to the mix, work, and family events, it’s not so easy. But sex is a natural thing that we as humans crave and need.

“My ex-wife and I were only married for three years when we stopped sleeping in the same bedroom. Our second year of marriage we were blessed with our twin girls Arianna and Olivia. I think it was more than we could really handle at the time and eventually just stopped being intimate all together.” – Michael

Couples should communicate as often as possible – it’s imperative in a marriage. They should have a strong sense of why they’re together. Having your partners back no matter what can work to eliminate problems such as these. However, if you’re experiencing any of these troubles that are leading your marriage down the long road of divorce You may be able to prevent it with a few small life changing habits.

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