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When choosing to divorce there are tons of moving parts and endless things to discuss, yet there is so little time. At least, that’s what it always feels like. Naturally, one of the things that should be discussed is sharing the news that you’re divorcing in the first place. Although telling friends and family about your decision to divorce can seem overwhelming, keep in mind that this should be the most calm and reassuring part of the process. After all, friends and family are there to love and support you during this time of transition.
When deciding who to tell about your decision to divorce, you should always start with the people closest to you. Of course, the term “closest” is relative, and those people will be different for each person. Sometimes it’s mom and dad, sometimes it’s a sibling, other times it’s a best friend. We all have different relationship dynamics, so we can’t tell you exactly who to start with, just that you should start with the people whom you feel most supported and loved by. You can work outward from there.
You should tell your friends and family that you’ve decided to divorce early on in the process. Not only for the sake of the support and guidance that they can offer, but also because you don’t want it to seem like you’re hiding this major life event, when you need support the most. In any close relationship, trust and transparency should come first. The people who love you will want to be kept in the loop so you can lean on them and benefit from their advice throughout the process.
Deciding where to tell friends and family is highly situational. If you’re telling loved ones that you have a close, relaxed relationship with, then sitting on the couch and casually bringing it up is fine. However, we all have hotheads in our lives and people with larger-than-life opinions. If that’s the case with a dear friend or family member, it can be best to break the news for the first time in public, perhaps over dinner or coffee. That way you won’t be bombarded with loud and incessant opinions, no matter how well-meaning they may be.
The main takeaway that we always try to reinforce is that divorce is the start to a new chapter. It’s actually a positive decision to make a healthy choice that’s responsible, mature, and beneficial to your health and well-bring. So, when telling friends and family about your decision to divorce, think of it that way. Instead of bringing bad energy into the equation, start the discussion in a lighthearted and optimistic tone. In many cases, the loved one will have seen signs that they were curious about, or may have worried that you were not happy for a long time. It may shock you who has been so perceptive all of these years.
Because the people closest to you are the ones who are going to help you through this new phase in life, it is important that you open up to them as soon as you decide to go forward with a divorce. So, when breaking the news about your decision to divorce, don’t feel ashamed or uncomfortable to tell the friends and family in your life. They’re there to love you unconditionally and support you every step of the way.