How to Cope When Your Ex Loves Someone Else -Holistic Divorce MA
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How to Cope When Your Ex Loves Someone Else

There are tough times in every relationship, it’s inevitable. That doesn’t mean we can’t overcome the unavoidable troubles life brings us. It’s never an easy thing to watch someone you love, someone you once loved, say that they are in love with someone else. Just because you’re getting a divorce doesn’t mean you’re not still in love with your ex-spouse. It simply means your time together has come to an end. Maybe your spouse left you for someone else, or they found someone immediately after the divorce was final. You’re probably thinking to yourself, “I don’t understand how they can just move on so fast.” Or “did they really love at all?” Unfortunately, there is no straightforward way to deal with this situation.

The best thing you can do in this sort of situation is to love yourself.

Here’s my advice:

Learning to love yourself all over again is one of the roadblocks you’ll hit when going through a divorce. It’s a part of the process. Spend less time trying to understand why someone feels the way they do and spend more time trying to accept it so you can move forward in life. Don’t spend time rewriting the past repeatedly in your head believing it was perfect. If it were perfect, you wouldn’t be in the predicament you are today. See the reality of why it ended with divorce.

Keep your focus on yourself and your new life. Fill up your days with fun and adventurous things that you wouldn’t normally go out and do. Try to keep your mind as busy as possible and off your ex and their new relationship. The truth of the matter is that you never really know what’s going on behind closed doors. They could be more miserable than you think, (not that you need to be thinking about it.) If you are solely focused on you and your new fabulous life, love will eventually find you wherever you are. And it’s ok to still love your spouse or ex-spouse. We are meant to love, it’s a gift. Part of maturity, however, is recognizing that love by itself isn’t always enough to make a relationship thrive. There are many other circumstances that can affect a relationship such as timing, incompatible values, or the choices we make. Moving on from a relationship that isn’t working isn’t always about ending the love you feel. Sometimes the only way to let go is to love someone enough to want the best for him/her even if that means not being together.

Once you’re able to do these things with grace and maturity, coping with the fact that your spouse loves someone else won’t even be a problem for you. You’ll be too busy living every day like it’s your last and loving yourself to worry about what they’re doing. Take some time today to meditate on the thought that you are enough. You are all you need to move forward to this next chapter in your life.

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