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A huge part of getting a divorce is getting through the denial we live in each day. We are only human, that means that we tend to have natural reactions that we do to protect ourselves from getting hurt. A lot of people going through a divorce put themselves in deep denial by lying to themselves about their situation. This helps them to soothe the pain and feel better about their actions and negative behavior. However, this only hinders them from moving forward in life. And what’s the most important thing to do in a divorce? Move forward to a positive new life.
Here are 15 lies that people tell themselves when going through a divorce:
- I could care less what happens to my ex.
Yes, you do. You will care for them until the day they die.
- I hate when my kids go to their other parents
Let’s be honest sometimes you enjoy the break. Being alone offers a reprieve from stress. Yes, you love spending time with your kids. But taking time for yourself and having some life enjoyment that doesn’t involve your kids makes you a better parent and you know it!
- I don’t want to meet anyone and I’m never getting married again.
You’re saying this to protect yourself because you are afraid that you might never meet anyone. We all do it, we’re only human. It will happen again one day, it’s what we’re made for – relationships.
- I know my ex will regret this someday.
Not trying to be a jerk, but no, he or she probably won’t. Accept it. It doesn’t really matter.
- When I was married, I was happy.
When you were married, you were both happy at one point. But not at this point. If you’re in the process of divorce you two aren’t happy being together anymore.
- Everyone knows the divorce was his/her fault.
Full disclosure: A marriage takes two. It was most likely that both parties played a factor in the decision to get a divorce.
- My attorney really hates my ex.
They are getting paid to hate your ex and get you what you want.
- Even if I could find a way, I’d never check out my ex’s profile on Facebook.
Obviously, you’re going to check for the first little while after the divorce. That’s only natural. Just don’t become a stalker or spend too much time on it. Move on!
- Dating isn’t for me.
If you were on the right date, you’d be having an enjoyable time. Spread your horizons, you know you don’t want to be alone.
- The thought of having sex with another man/woman is repulsive.
It may be that way at first, it just takes time. You will meet someone one day who will just rock your world.
- My kids are going to grow up and realize what he or she did to me.
They very well may, but they will still love both their parents unconditionally, and that’s a good thing. You need to accept that.
- I know how to stay away from dysfunctional relationships.
When people get divorced, they are exposed to into bad rebound relationships. You just have to open your eyes to what the relationship exactly is.
- My life is really messed up, thanks to him or her.
Your life isn’t messed up because of a divorce. It’s just one of the trials and tribulations that people go through in life. If you were meant to be together forever, you would have been. If you’re in the process of divorce this is the way things were meant to be. You never know, once it’s all said and done your life may be better than ever.
- I love my new life.
It’s okay to say, “Why me?” We all know you aren’t happy now. But you will be one day. Once you’ve truly moved on from your divorce and you can honestly tell yourself that, you will love your new life.
- If I could just meet someone, I know my life would fall into place.
No, you need to work on yourself before you meet someone else. You need to work on loving yourself again before you let anyone back into your life. Then your life will fall back into place.