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Experiencing a divorce can closely resemble riding a rollercoaster. A rollercoaster of emotions, that is. The high points and low points are both equally exhausting. It can at times feel as if you can’t foresee what might transpire every day. What I mean by this is, each day might appear as to have surprises for you – both good and unpleasant. Some days things can seem calm and manageable, while other days will leave you feeling like your heart is going to explode out of your chest. I guess one could always argue that life is also a roller coaster, in which case you would be correct. Here we’re talking about an emotional roller coaster, a metaphor if you will, with unwanted feelings of sadness, and hatred. Basically, your feelings have their way with you during an interrupted period.
Grief is without a doubt, very painful. As painful as it is, it is a healthy emotion for us to feel in response to the loss of an important relationship. We are hardwired to feel it. Grief can be one tough emotion to handle. If we fail to understand that grieving is healthy and we need to allow ourselves time to grief, unwanted feelings and behaviors can control us. Rather than giving into your feelings and letting them take over, look at this as a time to recognize and embrace your feelings. When we give into our emotions we are letting our feelings drive our actions, dominating our overall behavior. Acting on these intense emotions can it will undoubtedly be a mental clutch or “roller coaster” of feelings. We have done some research and constructed a list of strategies to help you survive this traumatic time.
- Establish your Support System
You never should go through the divorce process alone, you don’t have to. From any emotional standpoint, it’s vital to have a support system. Your support system could consist of family and friends, a support group, a therapist, or even a mentor/life coach. You may not think you need a support system but isn’t it just nice to have someone to talk to about what’s going on? That’s what it’s all about. Letting your feelings out. We all need someone to vent to from time to time. And we are all different, some people might talk to a friend about it, and some may prefer to talk to a counselor about it. Whoever you’re most comfortable sharing your feelings with is who you need to talk to.
Being mindful during the divorce process is super imperative. Whether it’s five or ten minutes it’s important for you to have some alone time. This can be done anywhere and anytime. If you feel like you’re on the verge of a major breakdown this is the time for you to gather your thoughts and emotions, grounding yourself. Sit or lay down to relax, find a meditation recording, and breathe. Isn’t it nice to just breathe?
- Learn to Accept & Forgive
Before you can move forward from this roller coaster of emotions it’s prominent that you learn the process of acceptance and forgiving. Skipping this process will hinder your ability to move on in life.
- Redefine Yourself
Whether you’ve been married for three years or thirty years when you create a life with someone sharing a living space and children you’re likely to develop some of their characteristics. For many people, the process of divorce challenges their perception of themselves. They often think to themselves “who am I?” Or “what do I do with my life?” Think about divorce as your time to redefine yourself. This is a time for the new you, version 2.0. Go find what you’re passionate about, travel to unfamiliar places, meet new people. Find out what this new you likes to do. Keep your mind busy and away from your temporary blurred vision.