You need to login in order to like this post: click here
If you were married with children, and you’re now divorced with children, you’re stuck co-parenting. Regardless of how much you try to avoid one another, and even if you cringe at the site of your ex-spouse, you must remember that you had children with them and now you must come up with a strategy to co-parent effectively.
The harsh reality of being divorced with children is that you need to put your feelings aside and put them first no matter what. Somehow, some way during the storm of divorce you make a way to make them feel loved, safe, and secure by both of their parents. This means loving your children more than you hate your ex. So yeah, you’re going to have to bite your tongue when your ex-says something that makes you want to bite his head off. You’re going to have to learn how to pick and choose your battles wisely when learning to co-parent effectively with your children.
Here are five pieces of advice that can help you and your ex-co-parent successfully:
- Keep your personal space
Focus on your new life now instead of your marriage and keep your new personal life to yourself. All the while staying out of your ex’s personal life.
- Pick your battles
Don’t make a big deal out of things that won’t mean anything to you in the morning, or next week for that matter. Learn to let it be.
- Be cordial in front of the children
It won’t kill you to say “hello”, “goodbye”, or even “have a wonderful day” when picking up and dropping off the kids. And the kids will see you getting along which will bring them peace.
- Encourage each other
I know you’re probably thinking “why on earth would I do that?” Because you choose to have children with this person and sometimes parenting alone can be tough. Sometimes you just have to give credit where credit is due. You must be healthy parents to raise healthy loving children. Encouraging to your ex won’t kill you and it might bring you some happiness. They still are, and always will be a part of you and your children’s life – act like it.
- Believing that you can do this
Putting yourself in a state of positive mindfulness where you believe that you and your ex can effectively co parent without any problems will only encourage the best relationship between the two of you for yourselves and your children. If you believe you can do it, you’re already on your way to doing it.
By no mean are any of these things easy to do when going through a divorce or even after the divorce is final. But if you can try your hardest to make a positive effort in your new co-parenting relationship, it will make the situation a heck of a lot better for everyone. Don’t you agree? What’s done is done, no need to dwell on it. You can only move forward from here and make the situation as best as possible for everyone – especially your children.